Top MLIA’s

Ik heb een tijdje geleden een artikel gepost over MLIA, FML en GMH. Aangezien het vakantie is en ik soms niks te doen heb, is het mogelijk om uitgebreid de site’s te bezoeken. Mijn favoriete website is MLIA en daarom heb ik een selectie van verhalen uitgekozen die errrug leuk zijn, so feel free to read!

Today, I was listening to an overcompensating idiot go on about how large his penis was when he said “My dick is so long that if I laid it on a keyboard, it would reach from A to Z!” It took me 15 minutes to stop laughing enough so I could tell him that the A and Z keys are less than an inch apart. It got him to shut up. MLIA

Today , I went to the new Harry Potter movie with a friend . At the part where Dumbledore died , a man close to the front row yelled “NO!” and ran out the emergency exit door . It made my day . MLIA

Today, I went to the restroom. As I got into the stall, I looked at the different fliers people from my school put on the inside of the stalls. One said, “He is watching you. Look up.” I slowly looked up. When my eyes reached the ceiling, there was a picture of Robert Pattinson staring back at me. I screamed. MLIA

Today, I was having a crappy day. I went to pick up a pizza from the pizza place my brother works at, and they forgot to take the ticket off of the pizza after they handed it to me. The best part? They put my name as “Matt’s hott sister.” My day got a little bit better. MLIA

Today, I joined the ongoing Yahoo vs. Google battle by entering “my girlfriend” in both. Yahoo presented me with “my girlfriend’s house”, while Google gave me “my girlfriend hasn’t had her period since she got pregnant do you think the baby is drinking the blood?” Yahoo, just give up. MLIA

Today, I began messing around on Mystery Google and decided to type in “Miley Cyrus” and got the result “trash”. I’m glad you agree with me, Mystery Google. MLIA

Today, on the bus a kid was throwing Goldfish crackers at people. They kept hitting me in the head and it was annoying so I stood and turned to yell at him. When I started talking he threw one directly into my mouth. I was laughing to hard to yell at him. MLIA

Today, I was at the mall and saw some Chinese woman wearing a shirt that said “Made in China”. MLIA

Today, I was talking with this girl I met the other day and she asked when my birthday was. I told her it was September 31st. She screamed and told me that was her birthday as well. There is no September 31st. MLIA

Today, my teacher was trying and failing to explain to the class what the Easter Island Heads are. After five minutes of watching her struggle, my best friend stepped in saying, “It’s Squidward’s house from Spongebob!”. Everyone understood immediately. MLIA.

Today, I was leaving a store with my family. We were all carrying party supplies, and somehow my little sister (who is 13) ended up carrying a case of beer. As we walked through the parking lot, we passed a group of old ladies who were looking at us with disgust. My dad noticed this and said to my sisters and I “Now girls don’t drink that all in one sitting.” The look on their faces was priceless. MLIA

Today, In calculus I gave out tests, (i’m a teacher) and for one of the harder equations I wrote a note saying if you can name all the spice girls, I’ll give them 10 points. When I was grading the tests, I realized the only student who got it was the quarterback for the schools football team. MLIA

Today was Halloween and I was passing out candy at my house. The old man (about 85) who lives down the street from me said trick or treat when he came to my door. He wasn’t dressed in a costume so I asked him what he was. His reply, “I’m Benjamin Button. I’m 7, but I look a lot older.” I gave him extra candy. MLIA

Today, in my co-ed gym class we played touch football. The 6 foot cocky guy who’s on the football team made a comment about how girls can’t play football. The next play he was full out tackled by the quietist girl in our class. Everyone including our teacher started clapping and I now think I’m in love. MLIA

Yesterday, I was handing out candy. A little boy dressed up as Harry Potter came by and as he was walking up the driveway he dropped his wand. I told him he dropped his wand and he looks at me and shouted “ACCIO WAND” and twitched his hand (which had a string attached to the wand and to his finger) and his wand came shooting up to his hand. He got the rest of my halloween candy and 5 dollars. MLIA

Two days ago, on Halloween, I opened the door to some trick-or-treaters. They were dressed as Dumbledore, Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Snape. They started making a ticking noise and proceeded to sing from the Mysterious Ticking noise. At the end, they all shouted “Boom” in unison and fell over. Another kid dressed like Voldemort came and finished the song. I gave them all of the candy I had. MLIA.

Today, I came to the gym at my university and discovered that the shampoo I forgot last week was still here. But now there was a post-it on it, which said ‘Thanks!’.. 4 times with different handwritings and pens. You’re welcome, pleasant-smelling strangers. MLIA.

En dat was het! Hope you enjoyed it, because I did!

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